dominattyrix tredux

hibernation

sleep is good.

very good.

been having a lot of that these past days (and nights). the wicked finally gets her rest.

but she didn't rest in peace.

well, not yet anyways. ;-)

what's not good are the dreams that go along with deep sleep. i'm getting them again. the themes are the same... i dream of walking&talking corpses, and being terrified of circuses/carnivals (arggghhh... am i beginning to sound a lot like Jenny Schecter now? bad trip!!!)

... all that with me transitioning from 1st to 3rd persons, and then switching from a very young girl (the maiden) to pregnant woman (what, me, a mother?!!!) and even a granny (ahhh, this is like, the crone).

how bizarre.

far weirder than a salvador dali art.

________

speaking of dali, found this funny quote too from a fan site:

"I don't take drugs: I am drugs."

i totally agree... why, who needs to abuse all that "substance" when your head is already screwed the way dali's was?

and mine? mwehehehehe!

this twisted artist's philosopher looks a bit uhrm "twisted" too... not to mention, mad... he he he.

finally, he says this too:

"The only difference between myself and a madman, is that I am not mad!"

ahhh... but i am truly nothing like dali's philosopher. though i think i may be twisted enough, perhaps i am just a tad too kikay for dali.

and then in reply to that quote, this is what i'll say:

"The only difference between myself and a madman, is that I am NOT a man!"

i am ALL WOMAN, dali dude.

am all that and so much more! ;-)

nyahahahaha!

generation meltdown

today is one of those days when i get crazy...

i hear or see something and then i suddenly burst into song...
whatever song that is remotely related or associated with heard/seen being.

he he he.

no, i'm not drunk. not "high" either.
just one of those days.
i suppose this drives other people nuts.

but so far, i haven't heard any complaints.
yet.

this song is currently on a loop in my head.

a siouxsie and the banshees classic called MELT!

____________

You are the melting man
You are your situation
There is no time to breathe
And yet one single breath
Leads to an insatiable desire
Of suicide... in sex

So many blazing orchids
Burning in your throat
Making you choke
Making you sigh
Sigh in tiny deaths

So Melt!
My lover, melt!
She said melt!
My lover, melt!

You are the melting man
And as you melt
You are beheaded
Handcuffed in lace, blood, & sperm

Swimming in poison
Gasping in the fragrance
Sweat carves a screenplay
Of discipline... and devotion

So Melt!
My lover, melt!
She said melt!
My lover, melt!

Can you see?
See into the black of a long, black car
Pulling away from a funeral of flowers
With my hand between your legs
Melting...

________

don't mind the lyrics. it doesn't mean anything to me. not tonight, atleast. am soooo not in a DOM mood.

but i love this tune. very dramatic. love to sing along with siouxsie, the goth goddess.

my siouxsie and the banshees stuff are all STILL on tape though. no cd. no downloaded tunes. :-(

~~~ speaking of downloading...

earlier today i was making small talk with a student who then asked me where i get my mp3 music. i said i "move them from cd's to iTunes". or i borrow from friends and "burn 'em".

she laughed.

then says (in that very conio tone) to me that i'm the *only* person she knows who (still?) does this.

"like, mizzz... you still buy cd's?"

laughs again.

seems to me that she and the rest of her young cohorts are just "downloading" their music these days.

she calls me "burner" now. har har har. NOT FUNNY!!!

i got back at her by name-dropping some obscure 80's band names. made it appear that she wasn't so cool because she didn't know who i was referring to. of course she was clueless. everrrr!!!!

she prolly listens to britney too anyways. :-(

well, in my fantasy... i am telling her that i'll SHOW HER who's "got it" by bringing my ENTIRE tape collection next meeting...

and that she's totally free to wipe the dust off 'em... and in exchange, i'd consider to wipe off one or two of her big fat ZEROS, the actual grades that she's getting from me.

then she wouldn't look so smug anymore.

nyahahaha!

that'll teach her not to call me "burner" -- so, who's burned now huh?

_____

talk about a generation gap eh?

way back when, i thought bootlegged tapes were the coolest too.

*sighs!*

rolling

spent the evening with Friend 1 (F1) and Friend 2 (F2) tonight.

dinner/coffee/dessert AND some rolling lessons... i.e. handrolling shag (n 1: a strong coarse tobacco that has been shredded).

we were at this coffee place and some people in nearby tables got so curious (and RUDE!), they were actually staring at us...

what, they've never seen rollers before? ahh... they prolly thought we were handrolling pot or similar, but it was really nothing illegal.

i *don't* touch that stuff.

but rolling yosi is very tricky. it takes a lot of practise.

am no good at it really--is that like, a hand-eye coordination skill?
am not patient either.

would rather SMOKE the stuff, nyahahaha.

good thing there's F1 to do it for me. and now F2 too, since she seems to have gotten the hang of it fairly quickly...

with people like these who spoil me, no wonder it's so hard to quit.

to read or not...

It was nearing midnight and the PM was sitting alone in his office...

... so JK Rowling's HP book 6 begins.

am not really a fan, or a potterhead... but amidst all the hype, i must admit that i am *intrigued* about this narrative. the classic battle between good and evil, no matter how gasgas is always a cool yarn. of course we all know that IN REAL LIFE, things aren't always black or white, so we escape to the safe space that literature provides... because in books at the very least, we badly wish to believe that in the end... evil is forever vanquished and goodness will always triumph.

ahhh, if only....

hmmm... i see that scholastic's hardback has a purple cover too.

i like purple! :-)

my sister is such a HP fanatic. she queued at 7:01am yesterday to get her copy. me, am not gonna get my own. at 1.4k? arrrghhh!!! hell no!!! will just steal it from her when she sleeps tonight and speed-read. he he he. that's what i did last time. in 48 hours i was done with it anyway. i just wanna know who will die again. rumor has it that another main character dies and i wonder how. hmmm....

this 6th installment is a lot shorter though, only 652 pages. maybe this is what i'll do today since it's a sunday. and i deserve a break...

a break from all the gloomy stuff that i read. am still hooked on jean paul sartre... re-reading his plays: No Exit (Huis-clos) and the Respectful Prostitute (La putain respectueuse), and wishing I could read 'em in the original edition (i suck at french too--the language, NOT the kiss).

but damn... sartre is totally depressing! can't believe how seriously i took his works when i was an undergrad. now i'm like, d'uh! okay, so he says, "hell is other people"... but don't we all know that already by experience?

and tell me, who would wanna stay in "hell" if you can dare imagine a better place?

me, i wanna go HIGHER.

bliss is what i seek.

ahhh... heaven.
heaven is good.

let's go there. NOW.

*earth to doms*

right now though, it's just the purgatorio for me, i'm afraid.

work beckons. it always does.

hell, hell, hell!

*sigh*

wear this?

dress codes suck!

this is the tarp that you'll see hanging over the steel bars at the gate in the uni where i go.

supposed to warn studes what not to wear for they're uhrm, "inappropriate" daw.

har har har.

they made such a big deal about what sort of tsinelas not to wear since that's so uso now. they even came up with a directive stipulating three sufficient and necessary conditions about what sort of sandals NOT to wear and under what circumstances are they totally not permissible... which are all of these (A) thong-style (B) made of pure rubber or similar make and (C) less than 3/4 of an inch sole or some such.

this really shows how obssessed they are about looks... go figure.

hey they even installed cctv's on campus now. all the better to have big brother watching us 24-7. campus fashion police, anyone?

damn.

there's nothing here that shows anyone in a g-string, braless or birthday suit. wonder if those are forbidden too?

hmmm... watch me strut my stuff or non-stuff tomorrow. mhehehehe. ;-)

publish this!

the mantra in the ivory tower:

publish or perish.

academic whores like moi are expected to teach, write and get published. blog entries NOT included, no matter how prolific you are. this sucks because i have had numerous blogsites in the past 18 months or so. sayang. tsk tsk.

a paper i wrote as part of a research team just got published in book-form in the US some weeks ago. was all excited to get my own copy, i get a kick out of seeing my name on paper. i also love the smell of newly printed books. basta books, old or new, i love the smell. so uhrm, stimulating! so there i was, sniffing the page where my chapter starts. ahhhh.... very....uhrm, nice. he he he.

a bit disappointing though because the book itself looked so very plain. off-white cover, no photos, illustrations or cover art, boring palatino fonts... arrrgh! tradebooks on theory need NOT look that boring. now who'd ever want to read it? these book publishers really need a serious make-over. :-(

this got me thinking about what my first (solo) book should look like. thinking about the dust jacket now, cover lay out, and what sort of photo i should uhrm submit. i noticed that most of the theorists look so damn serious in back covers. been trying to work on a "serious pose"... ergo, my almost daily cam-whoring.

gab’s spanking new nokia 6680 (with the two cameras, front AND back) is quickly getting laspag now, no thanks to me. we have been taking photos of moi regularly as we both try to get the hang of paparazzidom, mwehehehe. practice lang. it's not as if i had written the book already. i wish!!! soon, soon. i'll get there, eventually.

this jedi series might just do the trick, don’t you think? :-) it was raining all day today and since i made paulan earlier, i was feeling very cold come dinner time. wore a hooded jacket over the sweater too but it still wasn't warm enough. had to put gab's jacket over 'em... cape-like. talk about "layering" now. the jedi look was totally unintentional. it was gab who said "may the force be with you" as she started clicking... jedi masters (and mistresses!) are supposed to be looking all-wise (and old too!), just like the jungian sage archetype (aka the wise old man), eh? hey EM, now you can really call me obi-wan 'no? gab says i look more like ben kenobi=alec guinness tho. :-( hmmm… me trying hard to look so “sagely” but… maybe not so convincing eh?

the smile always ruins it.

dang!

tell me, why does one have to frown or scowl in order to be taken seriously?

never did like posing for cameras. even as a kid i was always self conscious. i also never like to hear my own voice too. so if you wanna make me cringe then show me video/taped interviews of me.

but apperantly for many people, image means a lot. for some, image is everything.

when you're in a book shop, the first thing that gets your attention is the cover, then the title/author's name, then the BLURB. atleast that's how it is for me. one needs to spend TIME browsing the racks, picking up the books, and finding out what's in it. for many who are impatient, the cover is enough to lure them... or turn them off completely. well, it's not easy to look past the colorful/glossy/artsy cover. but hey. don't you always get a nice surprise when you actually start to flip the pages and find great substance in there? happened to me many times before.

but then again, i pride myself in having good judgment as far as books are concerned.

ahhhh take it from dame melanie marquez who said:

"don't judge my brother... he is NOT a book!"

vet's pussies

Still hung over from the trip to the vet.

Holland pics are so cute, so here is more of him...

The staff at the clinic told us that Holland lost his collar so the red ribbon was just temporary. To show us how nice this cat is, they put on this Army jacket and made him wear it.

Nice kitty did, for about five minutes tops. Then he successfully wiggled his way out of it. Cats are like that. Stubborn as hell! He he he.

I think cotton and lycra are way beneath them. Try satin and silk. But then again, I am certain that they'd be ripping them to shreds too.

Was never really a big fan of shirts or dresses for cats. Dogs may look cute in them, I admit but cats are FINE naked. Can't imagine dressing them up... Oh except this one time when I couldn't resist getting one of my cats a nifty black hooded Manchester United sweater. I really wanted it for myself but then they didn't have it in my size. So I got one for dear Maki (may he rest in peace) and he never liked wearing it either.

Look at just how royal and sophisticated-looking this Holland Cat is? Tell me how he could possibly need to wear a shirt? Uhrm, maybe a purple cape, and in velvet too? Guapo! He so loved the camera and liked getting his photos taken. I was actually talking to him and was convinced that he understood me. Was telling him about Descartes too... was about to crack one of the corny philosophy-cat jokes about "I purr, therefore I am" when he gave us this, uhrm... very bored look. I guess he's just too smart for philosophy.

Now this other cat is just as adorable, and even friendlier than Holland. S/he isn't owned by the vet though. She's in recovery.

Too bad I didn't get to ask her name. But she was so desperate for attention she kept meowing whilst rubbing her entire body against the bars of her cage just so that I would make her pansin.

Sweet! :-)

a day at the vet's

Frodo my dog-cat is sick. :-(

So Gab and I brought him to the vet today. Riding the car was a bit traumatic for him, he's not used to it... and since he thinks he's a cat, he could get a bit nervous so he was drooling all over the place. Great thing too that he knows how to hold it well, so no accidents, wiwi or anything more solid than that he he he.

Before we left the house though, Gab was saying hello to her dear friend Shadow. The terrible psycho cat returned her greeting by a cursory spray on the back of Gab's shirt. Poor Gab had to discard her shirt... good thing too that she had another one underneath, and that one didn't get wet. :-(

Oh Shadow does that all the time. He seriously needs therapy, I think. He never got used to the constant change viz. the fact that new kittens keep coming, as the cat population at home keeps growing. I too was a victim of his notorious spraying atleast twice already... and his victims include my aunts, and my mom, and my dad, and a couple of other unfortunate house guests. :-(

Anyway, when we got to the vet's we were pleasantly surprised to find that the doc's cat was there too. Her name is Holland. So calm, so nice and so cute. Dr. Country wasn't around when we made our visit but then his cats were there, yay, so I had a fun time playing with them.

Gab says I shouldn't have left Frodo on the table too long... couldn't help myself really, being a cat-person. So I rushed to where the cats were. This one is Holland, looks like a she but turns out to be a tom too. He was peacefully ruminating atop of the monobloc chair. There were others too, toroishell cats but they weren't as receptive as Holland.

Now tell me, who could resist Holland, eh? She knows how to pose too, it was so easy to take photos of her.

Cute, cute, cute cat!

She liked me too, she really did, I could tell. :-)

I got to put her on my lap, she even let me carry her for a while. Methinks she doesn't like being smothered though.

Back to Frodo now, new vet who attended to him says he's positive for heartworm. Since he hasn't been eating for 2 days now, I'm supposed to force-feed him. So I osterized some Cesar dog food as incentive, and tried to get him to eat it.

Ayaw nya. :-(

After numerous attempts at force-feeding and only about 15ml of liquified Cesar, I gave up. He was beginning to growl at me too. Bad doggie. And then I remembered how much he loved cat food. I opened a small can of Friskies tuna flavor.

Ubos! Sigh.